This is tough. Really tough.
And it’s even tougher when people don’t understand cos you think you were just a dog. You were never ever just a dog. You were ever-welcome company, a non-judgemental cuddle, endless entertainment, the definition of spunk.

If you just learned to bloody not pull on the lead, none of this would have ever happened. But then you wouldn’t be Odie, would you? I think we gave up trying to tame you long ago. I just had to pick the craziest one of the litter didn’t I? I just fell in love with your big green eyes and tubby face and that was it. I wouldn’t let them take home anyone else.

You were such a perfect dog. Wild and crazy but perfect. But you’d always know when to be crazy and when to calm down. Like when I’d come home you’d knock me down with cuddles and kisses, but if it was a baby or a puppy you’d just let them pull at you And people used to ask, “Does your dog bite?” and I’d laugh. You looked so big and scary but you’d never hurt a fly when it came down to it. Useless guard dog

Seeing you on that table was one of the hardest things I ever had to to. Seeing your big eyes, for the last time, rememebering the first time I saw them, or that time I blinded you with soap when I was giving you a bath When your eye got infected, and I slept beside you in the kitchen cos I just felt so bad, you had to go steal my covers haha.. And seeing your poor busted paw, and remembering how I ran over it with my bike once cos you were too close cos I had you on the lead… so I decided next time, I’d leave you off-lead. BIIIIG mistake. You ran into the neighbours house while they had people over for dinner!
Then seeing your big tail, and remembering the countless times you wagged it and knocked everything off a coffee table or something…
Then seeing your poor bloody mouth… I just wanted to stay there and cuddle you forever.

You were MY dog. Everyone knew that. When the vet was checking your pulse, the whole family was there, but she turned to just me and said, “I’m so sorry, Tegan. He’s gone”. And you’ll always be my dog. The perfect dog.

I don’t know how we’ll do it without you. We can have our underwear back cos you wont be there to eat it, we can have our clothes horse back cos we wont need it for a gate so you wont wreck certain rooms, and we can have a house that isn’t blanketed in dog hair 5 minutes after hoovering. But I’d let you wreck the whole place, and let you eat everything I have to have you back. I miss you already. I miss sleepy cuddles when I come downstairs in the morning. I miss the barking at birds every 5 minutes. I miss when I come home and I see your nose poke through the gate when you’re chilling outside. I miss annoying sloppy kisses. I miss clambering over the clothes horse (which kinda became a permament fixture) to get to the kitchen. I miss not having anyone to eat my leftovers. I miss getting trampled when I see you. I’ll miss not playing fetch, not getting high 5′s, not chasing you around the garden…

I just hope wherever you are, you’ll understand just how loved you were, and how you enriched our lives everyday through the little things, and just by being you. I’m just really thankful for the time I had you.

I will always love you.
Sweet dreams.

x